Love you forever... Love you for Always..

How many times have we sat with our kids reading them books, praying with them, and constantly letting them know how much they are loved? I have many memories reading I will love you forever to my children, How about the bunny book where the Baby bunny asks how much he is loved? or I love you the purplest, where two brothers are trying to find out who mom loves the most. In the end of each book is a continual theme. We will love our children no matter what they do, no matter how much they hurt us, no matter if their choices are not what we would choose. We will love them unconditionally, and rejoice in the difference in each of their personality's.

Many times growing up the thought of hurting my parents crushed me more then anything. Thinking I wouldn't be loved any more, or cared for. Thinking that my parents love was conditional. As I became an adult I have realized through many of my mistakes, when I have deeply hurt my parents. They never left me, sure they were disappointed, but disowning me or throwing me as for lost never happened when I sure thought I should have been.
Now being a parent of grown children I am seeing why my parents loved me through the unlovable times. Why the authors wrote the books they did. To remind us that the love for us is deeper then our mistakes, it is deeper then the hurt we create. It's knowing that the love of our parents is always there no matter our choices. That the love of a parent is strong and unbreakable.
God sees us the same way, how many times have we made choices that we knew would hurt our father? How many times did we know God was pulling us in a direction and decided to do it our own way, causing more hurt and pain in our lives. How many times have we used our free will, and when it blew up in our face we screamed at God why? How many times have we found ourselves wondering if we were even lovable after making choices that were out of Gods protection?
I have learned through the years, no matter my mistakes I not only have my earthly parents who will always be there to pick me up, I have a heavenly father who will always love me more then my parents ever could. I am made in the image of a wonderful father, who loves me past my mistakes, and wants nothing more then to walk with me through every step of my life.
So as we sit, and remember those stories we told our kids when they were little. remember the love of our heavenly father, and how much we love our kids. God's love is eternally more then that.
I now read those stories in a different light. My God will love me forever, love me for always.. his child I will always be. Thank God he doesn't have to carry a ladder to my window to see me though, He can look down on me and shield me always. God loves me further then to the moon and back he loves me for eternity, and there is no beating that, you can take that to the bank =).
So I will continue to show my kids the love of Christ through always being there, no matter the mistakes made. Always loving them when loving seems the hardest thing to do at that time. Always being there for them when they hit bottom, and need help up. Showing them that they are more then the problems that they created. Showing them Christ as the only answer in life, and with him none of the mistakes matter when his love is poured over you.

Grace, you are wonderfully made.. you are my strong willed, gentle hearted, precious princess =). I remember sitting with you watching Little Princess over and over again you wearing your little princess necklace everywhere, constantly letting us know All Girls are princesses. =). You are a princess Grace, You are mine and dads most precious gift the first born, the one who taught us what parenting was all about. And our princess, but more then our princess you are God's child which is way better then being a princess =). Thank you for the memories of you singing the barney I love you song to Josiah, even when you had to say that final goodbye you were singing I love you.. We are a happy family.. and I do love you too.. If I can tell you one thing Grace, Love God with all your heart, soul and mind. Allow him to be that person to save you when your falling he is the best savior ever. He loves you more then dad or I could ever love you. Allow him to guide your life, do that and all the rest will fall into place. God has wonderful things planned for your life, right now you may not understand the why's, but trust me God knows.

Josiah, even though I only got to hold you for 13 short months, it wasn't nearly enough time to begin to show you how much you meant to me. Your crooked smile will always shine bright in my heart, your snuggles up to my chest as I rocked you seeing Lavenders blue. To when I sat rocking you as you took your last breath and met Jesus. You would have been 18 this year, graduating High School such a wonderful accomplishment, but you got the best graduation ever HEAVEN. Lavenders blue Lavenders green.. Here comes the king dilly dilly in clouds we've seen. I'll wear my best dilly dilly my whitest gown, the king will give dilly dilly to me a crown.. You have your crown little man, now leave some heaven for me. =)

Micah, My heart healer just when I thought the pain would never go away you came along with your big blue eyes, and huge smile. Always compassionate and a heart towards God, wanting nothing more then to be on the right path towards God. I've watched you accept things in your life that seem unfair to others. I've seen you love God even when you have questioned why Cystic Fibrosis, why Deafness. I've seen you focus on what God wants out of your life, and redirecting yourself when you see yourself falling away. You are my lovable, active, hyper, all boy nothing is gonna stop you son. If there is a wave to conquer you are there, if there is a mountian to climb you are there, if there is skateboards to jump your there, if there are bikes to do whellies on your there. You are my risk taker, and I love that about you. Sometimes it's hard for mom to keep up, but you've kept mom young trying. You have some pretty big dreams in front of you, with your determination you will conquer them also. You have miracles in your life that will some day come to pass, and at that time you will be able to share that miracle with others, and watch Christ use you in wonderful ways. I love you for being you.. Enjoy Life and let no one tell you there is nothing you can't do. Dreams are worth fighting for.

Elijah.. OH ELIJAH!! =).. OH OH OH ELIJAH!!.. God saved you for last because he knew mom would need that extra breath of energy. =) My Happy, nothing wrong in this world, always hugging, always loving buddy. I wish we all could see life through your eyes, not looking at the outside but seeing what is truly inside. Not seeing the wrong in the world, but focusing on the good. Not caring what others say, being just who you are. ELIJAH!. Your laugh makes my heart skip a beat, your hugs always let me know you are there no matter what, always quick to say sorry when you've done wrong, always quick to forgive when wrong has been done to you. Not understanding when others are mean, but loving them anyways. To have the heart and eyes of my Elijah all in this world would be perfect. You complete my life, you are the last child of the family, and you fit right in perfectly in that spot. Wanting nothing but to be loved. So much placed on your life, and you just continue on as if it's just a normal part of life. All the poking not one complant, all the medication not one fit, All the memory loss from seizures and you just hug us so that you know we are there. We will always be there buddy, the one thing you can always count on is us and God. You are the light of my life, your humming lets me know you are there, even though at times it seems mom gets frustrated with the humming. It's a part of you, and in due time the humming will become less, and guess what we will miss that humming; because it's a part of who you are.

All my kids have been wonderfully made, in different personalitys with the Bean name attached. They may not always make me happy, and they will disappoint me at times. BUT they are wonderfully made in God's image and with his hand. There is never a problem to big that will take that love away, The two things all of you can count on is the love of your mom and dad, and the everlasting love of God . Grace,I'll love you for always, I'll love forever as long as your living my baby you'll be... Elijah I love you more then Ice Cream and to the moon and back, Micah I love you the purplest always and forever. All Different personality's, but each uniquely made.